Talking about “late in life” fathers on Public Radio

This week I was a guest on Larry Mantle’s “AirTalk” show on the NPR local affiliate KPCC.  The conversation was about men who become fathers later in life and the emotional effects of becoming a dad past 40.  Larry did a terrific job fielding the callers and we had a lot of positive strength based comments from the fathers that called in from the greater Los Angeles area.  I think it is a interesting subject that doesn’t get enough attention, so I am grateful for Larry deciding to set aside a half hour on his show to explore it in greater detail.

Audio portion from “AirTalk” interview

Working with Couples Facing Fertility Challenges

I was asked recently by the Southern California Counseling Center to speak to therapists about working with couples and individuals experiencing difficulty with creating children.  The audience was very active and we discussed a whole host of issues.  Everyone has their own experience as they work through this process, but common themes are feelings of shame and blame, an emotional roller coaster of hope and despair, loss and mourning, sexual disfunction, decreased ability to empathize with partner as process drags on, communication problems in relationship (avoidance of difficult subjects), secrecy of process and isolation from friends and family, donor/surrogacy options and concerns about “stranger dna”.   Although my presentation was just over two hours, we only started to scrape the surface of this complex issue and how it effects sense of self and sense of couples.   I hope that my training was beneficial in opening up ways for other clinicians to consider the depth of possible stressors and gave them positive ways to interact with their clients as they guide them through this often traumatic time.

What about Dad? Fathers and Parenting

It is safe to say that although I have been neglecting my blog, I have been busy in the world presenting at various organizations. Recently I presented with Dr. Chen Oren at the Motherhood Consortium about the role of fathers in parenting. Dr. Oren is a friend and colleague of mine who co-authored and co-edited “Counseling with Fathers”.
The presentation focused on several areas: the effect of shift of gender roles on fathers, rules of masculinity and how that relates to relationships with partner and children, how having children changes the male brain and also findings from Dr. Oren’s recent study of fathers and how they view their own strengths and challenges. The audience actively participated in the conversation and it yielded a lot of good focus and exploration of the complexities of being a father. Dr. Oren and I may be speaking again very soon and are currently working on co-authoring an article.